Tom Rowland | Physical Friday: The Importance of Friends | Tom Rowland Podcast Ep. 673

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Episode Show Notes

The importance of friends is a fitness topic because real health is thriving in every area of life — and joining a group built around an activity like fishing, hunting, or working out gives you connection and conditioning at the same time.

On this Physical Friday I dig into something I keep coming back to: friendship. The research on male loneliness is staggering — nearly one in six American men has no close friends. Marriage, kids, moving, travel, and screens all pull us apart. I explain why this belongs on Physical Friday and how the right group solves two problems at once.

Listen now: press play in the player above and follow along.

Frequently Asked Questions

Why is friendship part of a fitness conversation?

Because being at your physical best is not just workouts, sleep, and hydration — it is thriving in every area of your life, including your relationships. When you feel good physically you do more, and when you do more you live a more fulfilled life. Friendship and connection are part of that whole picture, which is why I put this on Physical Friday alongside training and nutrition.

How common is loneliness among men?

It is far more common than people realize. A YouGov poll found 18 percent of men have no close friends and 32 percent have no best friend. The Movember charity found 20 percent of dads lose close friends in the year after becoming a father. And the share of men who say they have no close friends has quintupled since 1990, affecting nearly one in six American men.

Why do men lose friends as they get older?

Life pulls you away. Getting married separates you from single friends, having kids consumes your evenings, and moving to a new place can leave you on an island taking care of your family with no friends nearby. On top of that, geographic mobility, constant travel, and time on screens all make it harder to maintain relationships. These trends mostly predate the pandemic, which made it worse.

How can I make friends as an adult?

Join a group built around something you enjoy — fishing, hunting, golf, bowling, mountain biking, a CrossFit gym, Orangetheory, a running or swim group. Shared hardship and humor bind people together fast, almost like a military unit. Give more than you take, send a friend a text out of nowhere to say their friendship matters, and the relationships will grow from there.

Why is a workout group such a good way to build friendship?

Because you are all going through something difficult together and laughing about it, and that combination of humor and hardship binds people closely — the people in my workout group are more like brothers than friends. It also solves two problems at once: you get in shape and you get friends, and if you do it at a time that does not take away from family or work, that is a win for everybody.

Why does friendship matter for long-term health?

Because isolating yourself entirely from outside relationships catches up with you. There comes a day when your kids get their driver’s license or leave for college and a huge amount of time suddenly opens up — empty nest syndrome is real. If you have neglected every friendship until then, that is a hard time to go find new ones. Maintaining relationships now is part of thriving for the long haul.

Why I Put Friendship on Physical Friday

Physical Friday is where we explore everything that helps us be at our physical best — eating right, sleep, hydration, workouts, mobility. But being your best is bigger than any one of those. It is thriving in every area of your life, and that includes your friendships. When you feel good, you want to do more, and the more you do, the more fulfilled your life becomes. That’s the stacking-wins idea, and friendship is part of it. I explain the connection in the episode, so press play in the player above.

The Loneliness Numbers That Stopped Me Cold

A friend in my morning group mentioned that a lot of men feel they don’t have a friend close enough to ask about something like a colonoscopy, and it sent me down a rabbit hole. Eighteen percent of men have no close friends; the number reporting none has quintupled since 1990. Twenty percent of dads lose close friends within a year of having a baby. I feel fortunate to have several groups of friends, and these numbers made me realize how rare that has become. I share more in the episode, so press play in the player above.

How Marriage, Kids, and Moving Quietly Isolate You

The drift is so normal you barely notice it. You get married and pull away from single friends. You have kids and suddenly the hours between four-thirty and eight are locked up with dinner, bath, and bedtime. You move for work, and now you’re on an island doing exactly what you should — caring for your family — while every outside friendship withers. It is responsible and isolating at the same time. I tell the story of how this played out for me in the episode, so press play in the player above.

The Group That Gives You Fitness and Friends at Once

Here is the move I keep recommending: join a group built around an activity. A CrossFit gym, a bike crew, a running group, even a bowling league or a poker night. You go through something hard together, you laugh about it, and humor plus hardship binds people like brothers. Do it at a time that doesn’t cost your family or your work, and you get in shape and build friendships in one shot. That’s a win for everybody. I lay it out in the episode, so press play in the player above.

How to Build Friendship Into Your Fitness

Here is how I’d turn the loneliness problem into a win.

  1. Take an honest inventory Ask yourself how many friends you could actually count on right now. Recognizing a gap is the first step, and it is more common than you think.
  2. Join a group built around an activity Pick something you enjoy — a CrossFit gym, a bike or running group, fishing, hunting, golf, bowling — so connection comes from a shared pursuit rather than forced socializing.
  3. Choose hardship plus humor Groups that go through something difficult together and laugh about it bond fastest. Lean into that — it is what makes a workout crew feel like brothers.
  4. Schedule it so it doesn’t cost family or work Pick a time of day that doesn’t take you away from your spouse, kids, or business, so getting fit and getting friends is a win for everybody.
  5. Give more than you take Reach out, send a friend a text telling them their friendship means a lot, and keep giving — that is how you become a great friend and how others start doing the same for you.

I expand on each of these in the episode. Press play in the player above.

Final Thoughts From Me

It’s easy to think family and work are enough — and for a while they are. But kids grow up and leave, time opens back up, and the friendships you let go are hard to rebuild from scratch. Tending them now is part of staying healthy for the long haul.

If you’re lucky enough to have good friends, tell them today — a simple text is not weird, it’s what friends do. And if you’re short on them, go join a group that gets you moving and connected at once. Press play in the player above for the whole conversation.

More Physical Friday Workouts

Physical Friday is my weekly fitness series for fishing guides, anglers, hunters, and outdoorsmen — the training, nutrition, and mindset to stay in the game for life. Watch and listen to every Physical Friday episode from Tom Rowland.

People & Topics Mentioned

male loneliness · YouGov poll · Movember · “We Need to Hang Out” by Billy Baker · empty nest syndrome · CrossFit · Orangetheory · Paul Ross · Rich · fishing buddy · stacking wins · Physical Friday

About Me

I’m Tom Rowland, a professional fishing guide based in the Florida Keys, host of the Tom Rowland Podcast, and the longtime host of the Saltwater Experience television show. On the podcast’s Physical Friday series I share the training, mobility, nutrition, and mindset work that keeps me — and the guides, anglers, hunters, and outdoorsmen who listen — strong enough to keep doing what we love for life.

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