How to Deal With Haters: Why I Stay on the High Road

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Episode Show Notes

Dealing with haters means refusing to take your eye off the ball when people talk badly about you or try to impede your progress. In this How 2 Tuesday I answer a question I got at ICAST from a young guide who is starting to find success and starting to attract jealousy. My answer is simple but hard: do not deviate from your path, do not stoop to their level, take the high road, and double down on the very work that made you a target.

Listen now: press play in the player above and follow along.

Frequently Asked Questions

How should I deal with haters and people who talk bad about me?

Do not deviate from your path and do not stoop to their level. The whole point of a hater is to get you to take your eye off the ball and waste energy on something trivial. Instead, stay the course and double down on what made you successful in the first place: better customer service, more scouting, harder work. Take the high road, refuse the cheap shot, and over time you become undeniable while they are left behind.

Why shouldn't I fight back against someone trying to sabotage me?

Two reasons. First, every second you spend fighting them is a second you are not spending on your business or your craft, which is exactly what they want. Second, someone who operates by backstabbing and gossip probably does it all the time and is better at that game than you are. You have proven you are good at actually doing the work. Stay on that ground, because that is where you win.

Does fighting back ever feel like the right move?

It feels great in the short term, and that is the trap. Stooping down and taking the cheap shot will make you feel better immediately and you might even knock them down a peg. But you will never truly win that way, and in fact they have already won, because they got you to take your eye off the ball and stoop to their level. The hard, correct choice is to stay classy and stay above it.

What does it look like to double down instead of retaliate?

It means making your business stellar in every way they cannot touch. Give even better customer service. Put even more time into scouting or fishing on your days off. Make sure your communication is stellar and your equipment is amazing. You use the negativity as fuel and pour it into the things you are already good at, until you are simply undeniable and the noise stops mattering.

How do I know if the criticism is fair or just a hater?

Sometimes a customer mentions that another guide did not have nice things to say about you, and you have to be honest with yourself: maybe there is a reason, and maybe there is not. This episode is about the case where there is no real reason, where someone went out of their way to intentionally try to mess you up. If you have done the work and treated people right, that is the noise you learn to ignore.

Should I ignore praise too, not just the hate?

Yes, in a sense. Praise can be just as distracting as criticism if you let it pull your focus. The goal is to keep your eye on the ball no matter what people are saying, good or bad. Stay true to your goals, your purpose, and yourself, and let both the haters and the cheerleaders fade into the background while you keep doing exactly what you have been doing.

How I Handle Haters and Stay on the High Road

When someone is intentionally trying to impede your progress and there is no real reason for it, here is the approach I have used.

  1. Do not deviate from your path. Refuse to change direction just because someone is trying to provoke you. Staying the course is itself a form of winning.
  2. Do not stoop to their level. Skip the cheap shot, even when it would feel good. The moment you stoop down, they have won and pulled you off your game.
  3. Double down on excellence. Pour the energy into better customer service, more scouting, harder work, and amazing equipment until you are undeniable.
  4. Take the high road. Stay classy and stay above the trivial stuff, because that is the path that actually wins over time.
  5. Keep your eye on the ball. Ignore the haters, ignore the noise, and even ignore the praise, and stay laser focused on your goals and your purpose.

Where This Question Came From

A young man building his guide career stopped me at ICAST and asked how to handle people who talk bad about you to your customers or intentionally try to impede your progress. I have absolutely dealt with this myself, and we had never really covered it on the podcast, so I wanted to. I set up the whole question in the episode, so press play in the player above.

Why the High Road Actually Wins

It is a very tough choice, because retaliating gives you instant relief. But the people who operate by sabotage are better at that game than you are, and chasing them only pulls you off the work that made you successful. I explain why staying classy beats them in the long run in the episode, so press play in the player above.

Turning the Noise Into Fuel

The best retribution is to make your business so stellar that those same people end up bragging that they knew you when you were starting out. You use the jealousy as fuel and keep your eye on the ball. I get into how I have done that over the years in the episode, so press play in the player above.

More How 2 Tuesday Tutorials

How 2 Tuesday is my weekly series where I break down one fishing skill at a time, from knots and casting to gear, tactics, and the habits that make you a better angler. Watch and listen to every How 2 Tuesday episode from Tom Rowland.

People & Topics Mentioned

haters · jealousy · taking the high road · guide career · customer service · ICAST · controlling the controllable · How 2 Tuesday · Saltwater Experience

About Me

I am Tom Rowland, a professional fishing guide based in the Florida Keys, host of the Tom Rowland Podcast, and the longtime host of the Saltwater Experience television show. On the podcast How 2 Tuesday series I break down one practical skill or lesson at a time, from fishing technique and gear to the habits that make you a better angler, in short, focused episodes you can put to use right away.

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