Controlling your tongue means refusing to speak negative thoughts aloud, because the moment you say I can't or I quit, you give that thought a power it did not have in your head. This is part two of a six-part Physical Friday series on the saying that your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your habits, your habits become your character, and your character determines your destiny. Unlike your thoughts, you have complete control over what comes out of your mouth.
Listen now: press play in the player above and follow along.
Thoughts run wild and you cannot fully control them, doubts about failing or not being good enough pass through everyone's mind, and often you can simply dismiss them. The serious change happens when you speak them aloud. Say I don't think I'm good enough or I'm going to fail, and just like Zig Ziglar said, what you say is what you get. In hard events like GORUCK Selection and SEALFIT Kokoro, I have watched people say something negative out loud and be done within minutes.
It is a quote from Chad Wright, a former Navy SEAL, who said your tongue is your rudder, it will steer the direction of your life and the outcomes of your situations 98 percent of the time. The words you choose to speak point you somewhere, positive words steer you toward continuing and succeeding, negative words spoken aloud steer you toward quitting. Words create worlds, as Pierre du Plessis put it.
Because the moment you say you can't do something, your mind shuts off all possibility that you could. It is like putting your hands on your hips and looking down, you have given up. I drilled this into my kids growing up. Most things get done through creative thinking, asking how could I do that, and can't kills that question before it gets asked.
The ones I work hardest to avoid are can't, hate, never, always, impossible, and fail. Hate is a strong, ugly word you can soften to it's not my favorite. Never and always shut off better ways of doing things and set you up to be a hypocrite. Impossible turns off the try, nothing is truly impossible with enough work, and on fail, I like Conor McGregor's framing, there is no failure, you either win or you learn.
I have seen it play out over and over in hard workouts and events. Someone is struggling, which is normal, but then they say it out loud, my back just doesn't feel like doing this today, I don't think I can make it, and a few minutes later they are done. The spoken word converts a passing thought into a decision. Keeping silent, or saying something positive instead, lets you just keep going.
Absolutely, it works in both directions. Speak something positive aloud, to yourself or someone next to you, and it produces real energy, it can keep you going and keep them going. Muhammad Ali said out loud that he would be the greatest of all time, and Conor McGregor has shaped his entire career by speaking his future into existence. The words came first, the results followed.
I unpack each of these in the episode. Press play in the player above.
The old saying, thoughts become words, words become actions, actions become habits, habits become character, character becomes destiny, has proven itself in my life over and over. This episode covers the link I think matters most, words, because it is the one link in the chain you completely control. I lay out the whole chain in the episode, so press play in the player above.
In the hardest events I have done, the pattern was unmistakable, the people who voiced their doubt were finished within minutes of saying it. The ones who stayed silent, or said something positive, kept going far past where their bodies wanted to stop. I tell those stories in the episode, so press play in the player above.
My kids grew up hearing me push back on can't more than they probably wanted. Can't, hate, never, always, impossible, fail, each one slams a door that creative thinking needs open. My mom played the nothing-is-impossible game with me as a kid, and I have carried it ever since. I go through each word and its replacement in the episode, so press play in the player above.
You cannot fully control your thoughts, but you have total control over your tongue. In times of great difficulty it is okay to say nothing at all, battling the thought silently beats giving it a voice. There is a long list of books at tomrowlandpodcast.com in the book club that go deeper than I ever could. Email me at podcast@saltwaterexperience.com with how this has played out in your life. Press play in the player above.
self-talk · Chad Wright · Lewis Howes · Zig Ziglar · Pierre du Plessis · Muhammad Ali · Conor McGregor · GORUCK Selection · SEALFIT Kokoro · the word can't · never and always · impossible · win or learn · book club · Physical Friday · Tom Rowland Podcast
Physical Friday is my weekly fitness series for fishing guides, anglers, hunters, and outdoorsmen — the training, nutrition, and mindset to stay in the game for life. Watch and listen to every Physical Friday episode from Tom Rowland.
I'm Tom Rowland, a professional fishing guide based in the Florida Keys, host of the Tom Rowland Podcast, and the longtime host of the Saltwater Experience television show. On the podcast's Physical Friday series I share the training, nutrition, and mindset that keep me ready for long days on the water, in short, focused episodes built for fishing guides, anglers, hunters, and anyone who wants to stay in the game for life.
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